Author: Christian Williams

I make music, paint pictures, and write. I'm also the editor of Utne Reader magazine in the United States, where I write about arts, culture, and the nature of consciousness.

1,102 (2015)

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House paint and oil on canvas
30 x 40 inches

Inspired by a photograph I took of the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor, O’ahu, Hawaii in June, 2014. More than 2.3 quarts of oil percolate to the surface from the battleship every day, serving as a reminder to those who visit that the site is still very active. While it’s obviously not good for the aquatic environment, I find the periodic oil blooms on the surface to be a poignant unintentional feature of the memorial; almost as if the spirits of the 1,102 people that lost their life there are acknowledging the millions of people who pay their respects each year.

A Time for Being Sick

Part of my morning routine includes reading a chapter or two of the Tao Te Ching—the ancient book of Taoist wisdom attributed to the mythical Chinese sage Lao-tzu. I particularly like Stephen Mitchell’s modern translation from 1998 and find something in it to meditate on nearly every day.

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Recently, the following lines from Chapter 29 came in handy when I caught a particularly nasty virus:

There is a time for being ahead, a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion, a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous, a time for being exhausted;

A stupid source of pride for me has always been defiance in the face of illness; to keep working and pushing myself as if I’m healthy. If I feel like I’m getting sick, I’ll prepare for it by taking extra work home just in case I’m not able to make it into the office the next day, and then work just as hard from home when I should be resting. This time was different, though.

In the past, the “wasted” time of a day spent in bed would have gnawed at me as I’d think about all of the work left undone. But this time, the lines from Chapter 29 came to mind, specifically: “a time for being vigorous, a time for being exhausted.” One of the many benefits I’ve gained from studying the Tao Te Ching is a profound respect for the polarity of this existence. In order to truly appreciate being healthy, I recognize that I must also know what it means to be sick. And allowing myself to be sick involves accepting that it will take time for the illness to run its course and for my body to return to health. Even though I didn’t turn on my laptop, I don’t remember ever having a more productive sick day. My job that day was simply to be sick and I did it well.

Along with giving my body and mind an overdue day of rest, I caught a glimpse of something else that day: contentment. While ambition and desire can be great motivators for success, I’ve found they are also the sources of disappointment and dissatisfaction when we fail to balance them. They train us to view every moment as an opportunity for advancement, but chide us when we hesitate or fall short. They keep our eyes on the future at the expense of appreciating the here and now. When you’re always thinking about what’s next, contentment becomes an illusion that’s just around the corner instead of a reality that’s right in front of your face.

It seems strange to find contentment in being sick, but that’s what happened when I switched off my ambition and desire for a bit. For me, it’s just another example of what’s possible when I slow down and allow myself to experience the present moment. Being sick obviously isn’t as fun as being healthy, but it’s still a reminder that I’m alive.

Originally published in the Summer 2015 issue of Utne Reader.

Meditating on a More Meaningful Life

The ability to multitask is considered an asset in the workplace. I’ve often found myself drafting an email, reading incoming messages, editing an article, and browsing art for a layout, all seemingly at once. I thought this meant I was pretty close to being as efficient and productive as possible; imagine my surprise when meditation showed me otherwise.

Brigid (2015)

Brigid - 2015

House paint on canvas
24 x 30 inches

Finished on the Cross-Quarter Day between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, a day marked by the ancient Celts with the festival Imbolc, which was considered the beginning of spring and was a celebration of the goddess Brigid.

Sold in February 2015 to a private collector in Kansas:
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Osage, Can You See? (2015)

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House paint on canvas
30 x 24 inches

This piece was a commissioned trade with Hank Will, who is the Editor-in-Chief of Mother Earth News, and a craftsman of beautiful handmade knives. I asked him a while back if he’d make me a mushroom-hunting knife and he produced the amazing looking knife at left. The handle includes brass, denim, locust burl, bison leather, and pear wood, and the brush is horsehair.

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For payment, he requested a painting instead of money, so I made him the piece above. Hank runs a small farm in rural Osage County, Kansas, and I tried to capture the essence of his farmstead by using colors that I’ve seen in rural Kansas. Considering that Hank’s knives are beautiful works of art that are meant to be used, I thought it was appropriate to paint him one of my “utilitarian medium” pieces where I use acrylic latex house paint instead of artist-quality paints. Like Hank, I believe it’s possible to make beautiful art from materials primarily designed to be functional.